I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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