I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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