He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize