I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
