Well douche your snatch and let's go!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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