Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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