Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
