You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
