i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
