I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
