before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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