FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if only i could text you this smell
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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