Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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