You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
