wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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