Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you never un-have a 4some
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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