Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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