For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
