Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
