wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
