i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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