NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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