I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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