I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
