unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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