I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
