He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
