i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
