You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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