That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
