If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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