I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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