TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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