watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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