I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
