can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
