I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
