there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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