I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
