hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
