when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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