You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
