So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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