After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
