she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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