i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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