just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
