After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
