everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
