i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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