Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
