He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
