She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
