I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
