I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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