does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
