Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
