at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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