'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Are we still banned from the library?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
