Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
