Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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